Motherhood

I remember when I was younger and moms were so quick to cry, I don't remember thinking anything of it necessarily but definitely noticing, that's just what 'moms' did right?  The other day I was on a bike trainer watching a mothers day show and was getting all choked up over stuff then a baby advertisement came on and I was getting choked up again.  I realized how silly I was being, riding my bike and crying over babies and then it hit me: I have turned into one of 'those' moms that cries over everything.  So what happened?  There is something about becoming a mother that instantly changes you.  It brings a deep meaning and joy to your life that makes all the challenges worth it somehow.  I constantly find myself watching my boys and being overcome with love and a knowledge that I would do ANYTHING for them.  With every birth your heart is opened to more love, although it is hard to believe that it was possible.  Then somehow that love continues to grow over time and you learn more and more about what life is all about.  They become a part of you that makes you want to be better.  You seem to start to live through them, to feel their sadness and pain, as well as their happiness and accomplishments.  I remember when Bode first rolled over I was on a high all day, I was more excited than I had been about anything that I had ever achieved.    A lot of the time you start to forget about you and your needs because the importance of your children consumes your every desire.
Motherhood is so complex.  It is the hardest thing I have ever and will ever do, as well as the most important!!  It shapes and molds you and forces you to grow in a way that nothing else can.  These four little boys are trying so hard to mold me into a better person.  They have been trying to teach me patience for awhile now and I still can't seem to get it.  They have been trying to show me that the simple things in life are what matter most, and when they finally get me to slow down enough to enjoy the things around me I always appreciate it.  But the most important thing that these boys have taught me about is love.  Not only have they wrapped my heart around them in love, they have taught me that there is so much in life to love!  I have come to the conclusion that is why mothers cry so much, because they are full of love that comes so deep after experiencing the greatest miracle of life.
I am grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother!  Even though it is hard, there is no greater blessing!!  I believe all women will have the opportunity to experience this incredible joy, if not on earth, in the next life.  I am grateful that my Heavenly Father has given me this divine responsibility to raise these four most precious and perfect spirits!  And I have a strong desire to help them be the best that they can be, and hope He knows I need all the help I can get.  I am also grateful, beyond words, that I have a partner, my best friend, to help me with this incredible responsibility.
I love you boys!!!